The clean-up continues

As part of my mission to let go of all worldly possessions, I've created a new strategy: Every day I get rid of at least one thing.

It's a big project to slowly erode a life-time of clutter so I've been taking it in stages, working through my cupboards slowly.

I spent a sizeable chunk of my weekend sorting through boxes of old paperwork and notebooks. I threw out credit card statements. I tossed out paperwork from university. I trashed superannuation newsletters and salary receipts. I binned it all.


Almost everything that seemed important at the time turned out to be insignificant or replaceable. I can always call my bank and get my statements re-issued. A lot of the time I can look up those things online. Just because some corporation sends me a piece of paper does not mean it is so important that I need to keep it for years.
This, I have learned.

The next step is to work through my old sketchbooks.

I've been painting on and off for most of my adult life and have a box full of old ideas and sketches. Some are just doodles and others are ideas for paintings that I never got around to starting.

They’re still important to me for now so I'll be scanning them into my computer and throwing out the originals. I don’t need the paper version, it’s the record of my ideas that I want to keep. Digital will do just fine.

If I find anything interesting I'll share it with you.



Question for the readers:
What couldn’t you throw away? What is precious to you?
Answer in the comments.

So it's over

My girlfriend is no longer my girlfriend.

I think she's going to be ok but it was pretty rough for a while. She still cries a lot and she keeps talking about the past and the future. The things we did, the things we did wrong, the things we will never get to do.

I'm handling it all with a detatchment that marks me as either a potential sociopath or a potential buddhist monk.

Here's hoping it's the monk.

Maybe

Tonight may be the last night that my girlfriend and I are a couple.
Tonight we break up.
Maybe.

I 've grown distant.

I don't want to hurt her but I can't keep pretending.

The self destruction continues but this time it won't be beautiful or freeing.
This time it will just be sad.
This time I'll be hurting someone innocent.

Self (dis)assembly

There's a lot of who I am that isn't really who I am.

For a long time I wanted the new car, the big house, the tight firm body and the perfect hair.
But why?
I didn't need any of those things, but I wanted them to fit in and be accepted and because I thought it would make me happy.
But it wasn't making me happy.
I'd been tricked into thinking that those things were important.
And I wasn't alone.

Lately, I've stopped wanting those things.
I don't want to spend my life chasing a six-pack.
I don't need designer clothes.
Wearing the latest style of business shirt with a perfectly matching tie did not make up for the fact that I was miserable and stuck in an office all day.

The solution?
To rid myself of the unnecessary clutter of life.
To purge myself of the adopted wants of a society that is slowly drowning in dissatisfaction.
Less is more.

So I am beginning to wipe the slate clean and whatever remains will be me and only me.

The first step was to quit my job.
I did this six months ago and I've never been happier.
I have less money, but I'm happier now than having the extra money was making me.

The second step was to shave off my hair.
I did this two months ago and it was liberating in a way that I couldn't even imagine. With that one act I was emancipated from my desire to be handsome or sexy. I look how I look, and that's enough. I'm OK with that now.

The third stage is to rid myself of all the useless possessions that I've bought and have been holding on to for years.
This stage is still underway. By the end I hope to own so little that I could fit it all in one suitcase.
Most of it I'm giving away to friends or charities. Some of it goes straight in the bin.

Every step along this path makes me a little more free, a lot happier, and a little closer to being who I want to be.



Question for the readers:
What do you own that is holding you back? What could you throw away?
Answer in the comments.

In the beginning...

...man created himself.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that we shape our own personalities, that we arrange our own lives, and that we're responsible for who we are now and who we're becoming.

I like that idea. I like choosing who I am.

I, your humble blogger, will endeavor to experience, learn, grow and evolve. And I'll tell you all about it as I do.
Let these pages be a record of my self-assembly.